


The Armless Cheyenne

by technosagery



Category: Avengers (Comics), Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, Marvel (Comics), Marvel 616, New Mutants, X-Men (Comicverse)
Genre: Female Character of Color, M-day from the inside out, Multi, Red girl front and center, making sense of Dani/Nate, post-AvX, the view from the sidelines
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-12-03
Updated: 2012-12-03
Packaged: 2017-11-20 05:04:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,526
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/581590
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/technosagery/pseuds/technosagery
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Scott kills the Professor, Dani still has one major piece of unfinished X-men business. Herself. It's a long road from here to there, especially when you don't know where there is, but Dani owes it to herself to try.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Aschenputtel

**Author's Note:**

> Tumblr showed me Nate flirting with Dani, and Clarice and Dani mocking him, then the clusterfuck that is AvX happened, New Mutants ended (again), and somehow Wanda's forgiven. This is me taking the view from the sidelines, asking Dani what she thinks of the Emperor's New Clothes. 
> 
> Set immediately following New Mutants #50. To that point, it's canonish; beyond that point continuity will be ignored with a Valkyrie's vengeance.

The November sun set cold and pale over the remains of party and battle, wrapping Dani in a robe of shadow and Bay chill. No matter how familiar it got, it would never feel right to her. Not the clinging gray that seeped into her bones, colder than any winter in Westchester or Lame Deer. Not watching Amara incinerate the rubble Nate didn't struggle so much anymore to float into piles while Doug and Warlock did some kind of techno-organic linguistic hoodoo, from where she sat, taking a break from poking through trash and memories with fingers as numb as sticks, all without being able to touch them, know their minds.

 _Keep going,_ Logan had said. _You're doing the right thing._ Right before he'd pitched her an empty beer can. One more X-men mess to clean up, she'd wanted to say, but there'd been no time in the chaos. Now it all tumbled around in her chest, making a knot with the text message from Havok that asked her to call ASAP, non-urgent.

"What are you going to tell him?" Sam asked as he loomed up behind her. Again. This time, at least, he had the decency to bring her a beer.

She popped the top off it and pushed one braid over her shoulder to look at him and shrug. Was it the shock of blond hair in his blue eyes, the eager hopefulness lurking there, or his hand reaching for hers that made it all feel both normal and completely surreal? Like Tyro crashing a party, a wake for their mentor -- and maybe a little bit for the Cyke they'd known too -- was a trip to the State Fair or a Madripoor festival compliments of Blink? _Look over there! Can we ride that one? What are you going to eat?_

A trip to Madripoor with a hyper-active man-child on a sugar-adrenalin rush, while she moved slow and heavy and gray in her shroud of fog, with lurid, seething rage in brackish, blackish red pressed down beneath her skin. Funny how her own emotions seemed so loud, when the rest of the world was silent. 

"Answer hasn't changed since you asked me half an hour ago, Sam." Her voice hung in her throat with a dullness Sam had never learned to hear. Once upon a time, she'd been better at warding it away or faking it. "I don't know what Alex wants, so I don't know what I'm going to tell him." That felt like treaty talk, but even if she knew her emotions, knew the patterns of what had been happening, she didn't know what they meant. 

"C'mon, Chief. They asked Bobby n' me. You know they're going to--"

"Stop, okay? I don't know." _Slim was on the money with your team, Dani._ Why did that rasp like a file against the grain? _He believed in you._ "I really don't. What he wants, what I want, what I'll say. It's not--" 

When his jaw firmed with the same muleheaded, boneheaded stubbornness that had saved her life so often she'd stopped counting, Dani swallowed down the rest of it, how it would never be the same, the two of them leading a team together or even being on one and he had to stop trying so hard because he was driving her insane. His eyes clouded, graying out with an unfamiliar anger, and she ached, an empty, dry ache, for the absent feel of his mind that left her own jaw tense, her shoulders stiffened. She turned her gaze aside -- the Cheyenne way, Dani's way. It used to be to give him privacy, but now it was her eyes that gave too much away.

"Did you talk about it with Nate?" 

Her beer-free hand came up, a sudden burst of energy into his shoulder to shove him back. That dried-blood red beneath her skin seeped into her eyes, turning them flat and rattlesnake-mean like the right hook that was coming if he didn't shut it.

It looked like he might push, but then he shrugged, lifting his hands in a fake surrender that just made her want to punch him more. "Okay, okay. Out of line. I just--"

 _You just. He just. Everyone just._ Everyone but her. "Shut up, Sam."

Instead of fighting, she pulled her feet up onto the table and wrapped her arms around her knees. After a few silent swallows of beer, staring out at the raven perched on the skewed fence that teetered on the wind, she said, "I don't know how you can think about anything anyway. My head feels like Thor took Mjolnir to it, trying to smash home everything that's happened."

 _Everything that's happened._ There was some fine treaty talk if she ever heard it. But she couldn't seem to get her mouth to form the words 'Scott killed the Professor'. Forget about her mouth. Her brain, body, soul kept puking them out like a morning-after tequila hangover.

Sighing, Sam wrapped an arm around her. It was good enough for an apology between them, for something like this anyway, and she rested her cheek on his shoulder. He kissed the top of her head, and right there for a minute, the endless, clinging gray loosened its hold.

"You'll shake it off, Chief. You always do," he murmured to her. Solid, steady, same-old Sam. 

And then somehow it seemed harder to breathe than ever.

* * *

_As soon as possible, not urgent,_ turned out to be the next morning, after breakfast at the corner bakery on Bobby. It was always on Bobby, but this time it was on Bobby with the hand not dipping into his wallet wrapped around Amara's and Amara's eyes glowing with something that wasn't lava, something so warm Dani wanted to huddle up to it. Her cheek still stung with the goodbye-kiss from Sam she'd given a miss when she finally parked it on her bed, flipped open the laptop and phoned in on Skype.

 _He never got to see his dream come to pass. There's no changing that,_ Logan had said at the funeral. But _Look around, Moonstar. Xavier's dream of human/mutant integration. Keep going. You're doing the right thing,_ was what he'd told her last night. For days she'd been replaying snatches of old conversations, the Professor inviting her back to teach at the school, asking her to call him Charles and that still being weird, her students and X'ian asking her to stay, Kevin shoving her away, Emma firing her and her leaving Josh, Scott sending her out on the X-men's unfinished business, Cap sending her team away…

They were so loud in her head now that she missed Alex coming on. Blinked when his finger grew large in the Skype window, tapping against the camera on the other end. "Hey, Moonstar, are you with me?"

"Whuh-uh, yeah. Sorry," she said. "Right here." 

Alex smiled that Summers smile, steadying and sincere. "We heard what happened yesterday. Good to see you in one piece."

She couldn't help smiling back. Once upon a time, she'd had a crush on that smile. Once upon a time, a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away. "All pieces present and accounted for." Which wasn't exactly the same thing as being all in one piece, but good enough.

"Everyone else all right?" 

"Warlock's doing that thing he does whenever we run into the Technarchs--" The techno-organic equivalent of beating himself up. Sometimes she wondered if that was why Cable was such a broody s.o.b. but now really wasn't the time for that kind of mental wandering, and she pulled it back again to shrug. "Other than that, fine." 

The nod that greeted her 'debrief' might've come from Scott, except Scott's ruby lenses had never hidden his feelings from her like Alex's steady-soldier neutrality. Not even after M-Day. "You're probably wondering why I wanted to talk to you, so I'm going to skip the formalities and get right to the point."

Now she was the one giving Cheyenne brave-face with her nod. 

"Not to put too fine a point on it--" Even across the distance, it sounded a little wry. "I want you." 

Anyone else (except Cap) and she might've cracked wise or at least a smile for that, but she could only think of recruiting posters. "For the new teams," she supplied.

"Yes." Before she could ask why, he answered, "While we were busy fighting each other over the Phoenix Force--" He grimaced at that. "You were on the ground holding things together. You're a unifying factor, Dani. You always have been." Alex paused and reloaded. "Charles saw it. My brother saw it. I'm not stupid enough to miss it. We really need that right now."

Pretty much what Logan had said. _Just keep doing what you're doing._ "I turned 'Ro down the last time." Stalling and she knew it.

"Last time, you turned it down to fight for Charles's school. For the kids. This time, I'm asking you to say yes for the same reasons," Alex said, not missing a beat, not batting a lash, like someone - _Sam_ \- had told him what she'd say. 

Her shoulders tightened, chin started to lift, every bit as stubborn as Guthrie's. "My team needs me, Havok."

"I'm not debating that," he said with a shrug of acknowledgment that relaxed her a little. "But you're needed more here. Ask yourself what Charles would want." 

She'd been asking that question over and over and over since she first heard. Logan said keep on keeping on. Sam and Alex said join the new teams. Scott…at least the one in her head, couldn't answer. His jaw was wired shut from when her fist smashed through it. Nate went all shaman on her and asked if that was what mattered. "I'll think about it."

"After M-Day, most people gave up. You kept fighting." Another grimace from Alex, but she couldn't guess at the reasons. "No matter what happened." 

_'What happened'_ , again. They'd all reverted to treaty talk. 'Euphemisms'. Too shell-shocked _still_ to talk openly about what Wanda did. Maybe too ashamed and guilty. 

Suddenly sick of it, sick with it, Dani snapped, "What happened," no apology in her tone, "Was that one of the people you want me to team with _mutilated_ me and my students and my friends, and when I stuck around, what _happened_ was the Queen Bitch fired me, because I didn't belong anymore. _What happened_ was Tony Stark, another person you want me to work with, split the effing Phoenix Force into five parts and one part turned one of _my_ team back into a monster. 'What happened' was that your brother, my friend, _killed_ our teacher!" 

Alex's hand clenched in a fist on the desk. Direct hit. "Dani," he began, voice tight with strain. 

The twisted surge of triumph in her gut died with how hard he worked for that calm. He'd been through hell, too. "Sorry." Her eyes closed and she shrugged down into herself. "I just--"

"I know. Believe me, I do know what I'm asking of you." His brave-face faltered. He noticeably glanced at his fist and forced it to uncurl. When he spoke again, there was less solider and more Summers, "Please, just…give it some thought. You're right about everything, but that's _why_ we need you. You never give up."

Another direct hit. Dani sighed and twisted her hair back, shoved it down the neck of her shirt. "Scott never gave up either, and look what happened to him," she said, gray exhaustion creeping in again. "I'll think about."

"Good. Thank you." Alex's expression steadied out, but the conversation had clearly cost him. She knew, because he'd never looked more like Scott.

"Alex…" Dani bit her lip. "I'm sorry. Not for what I said, because that's all true. But about everything. He's your brother, but you're all my family too."

* * *

The grayish ceiling of Dani's room refused to part to let in the sun, no matter how long she stared at it. In good news, it wasn't spinning, but she might have felt better about that. At least it would match the churn in her stomach and the pounding in her--

"Dani?"

At her door. 

"Yeah?"

"Can I come in?" 

Score one for asking, and two for not asking if she was decent. Minus one for probably thinking it and hoping the answer was no. Still, she smiled beneath her arm over her eyes and made -- _a little_ \-- room on the bed.

"How someone as skinny as you can take up so much space is one of the great mysteries of modern physics," Nate informed her on his way through the door and then dropped himself onto his side next to her, propped up on his elbow.

She pretended not to notice the way he looked at her, at her face, not her body, blue eyes warm and concerned. Knowing. Had it ever been like that to talk to her, back when she still dreamed? "It's practice, not physics." Being an X-man didn't leave a lot of room for learning to share a bed. 

Nate stretched a hand out toward her hair. She glanced over from under her arm, eyebrow lifted, and it fell back to his side after tugging her shirt straight like he'd meant to do that all along. "Did you talk to Havok?"

"Yeah."

"What'd he want?" 

Score another for not assuming he knew. "Me."

"Polaris probably wasn't too happy about that, huh?" His mouth twitched with a little crooked smile that reminded her of Cable -- or Cyke -- on a good day. "But I can't argue with his taste." 

Minus half. At least he didn't say Havok couldn't have her. "That ship sailed a long time ago," she said. Let him wonder. It was good for him.

"His loss." Dani gave him another Look, but he just shrugged. "It is. Lorna's hot but you're a hell of a lot better pilot." 

That made her laugh, only a soft burst of sound, but laughter'd been in short supply lately. Short enough that she stopped counting points and rolled up on her side to face him. "Not going to ask me what I told him?"

Nate's eyes went kind of soft, like he wanted to reach for her again. Pull her into his arms. Maybe try to kiss her. Thank gods he only said, "You'll tell us when you're ready," because she still didn't know how she felt about that.

"I told him I'm flattered he's recognized my talent for kicking Summers-Grey male asses, but even I can only handle one at a time." _Thanks._

His fingers twitched off his thigh, but he still kept his hands to himself. "Don't sell yourself short. You were managing me and Scott pretty well for awhile there." 

Whatever light there'd been in her eyes died with the mention of Scott. She looked away from Nate, tracked her fingers along the edges of the squares of her quilt. "I told him I'd think about it, but I don't think I can do it."

"Obviously."

Her head came up, gaze narrowing and shoulders stiffening. "Obviously?" 

Nate nodded, that same, stubbornly Summers smile on his face, expression intent and body as relaxed as hers was tense, as relaxed as if he belonged here on her bed. His twitching fingers finally touched down over her hand, too, gentle but not tentative. "Obviously. When you see with the eyes of the heart, it's obvious when the emperor's naked."

She rolled her eyes and tugged her hand away. "If you start telling me there are no spoons, I'm gonna punch you." 

His nose wrinkled up. "Spoons?" 

"…the Matrix?"

"Never saw it." 

She shook her head and shoved his leg with her foot. "Sad. Seriously. Sometimes I think Cable's more in touch than you are."

"Ouch." 

"I was seeing with the eyes of my heart." She smirked, a sharp twist of a smile, and poked him in the shoulder with three stiff fingers. " _Obviously._ "

Nate sighed and twined his fingers with hers, revenge for her lack of sympathy. "Whatever you decide will be the right decision."

Sometimes, even though he was a mushy, broody, pain-in-the-ass Summers, Nate said just the right things. But she couldn't exactly let him know that, so: "Even if I decide not to tell the emperor he's naked? I mean-" A beat, a grin. For the first time in days the only gray in sight the salt-and-pepper fringe along the white stripe in his bangs. "Your uncle's kind of hot.


	2. The Red Shoes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dani's still trying to decide whether to accept Alex's offer when she comes face to face with her past and her future. Alex's 'engagement gift' doesn't help matters.

As public schools in the Bay Area went, this was one of the nicer ones. The classroom had windows, at least, to relieve the institutional gray of the walls and the harsh fluorescent lighting that drained the life and color out of Dani. It was quiet between her classes, and as a substitute, even a regular substitute, she didn't have papers to grade, so she'd gotten up to open one, to breathe real instead of recirculated air, even thought it was cold and damp and always smelled a little bit like earthworms on pavement.

Forehead pressed to the pane of glass, Dani stared out at...not here, but a snow-covered lawn a country and an eternity from here, seeing a red wolf frolicking with a blonde boy she loved, a streak of solar shadow chasing a blonde girl who wouldn't know he existed for years yet, and two dark-haired girls in red hats and mittens giggling at each other while they made snowballs to ambush the others. 

...at moonlight on red hair and red glasses, a stolen kiss and bright smiles, hands held as they walked between the pines. Blonde hair and green, ice and fire, blue fur and the occasional flutter of wings...

...salmon-belly wings and gold skin, a boy who couldn't be touched and the hooded girl he reminded them all of, an impulsive windstorm of a girl and the goddess who shared her powers, the cuckoos and their--

"Ms. Moonstar?" 

She blinked, startled both by the voice and the dampness on her lashes. Quickly wiped her thumb and forefinger over both eyes, thankful she didn't wear makeup, and answered, "Yeah?" as she straightened and turned away from the window.

"May I ask you a question?" asked Caroline Prasongsanti, twelve years old and all of four-feet-two inches, most of it eyes. Between that and the polite way she carried her books in front of her, flat against her stomach with both hands, and the knee socks, she looked more like an anime character than most anime characters, except that she didn't talk or act like a babydoll. 

"Yeah, definitely." Dani grinned at her, dispelling her own gloom. 

Of all of the students she'd taught since coming to San Francisco, Caroline was one of her favorites. She reminded her most of the kids she'd had to leave behind. Bright, eager, caught in that trap between wanting approval and wanting to be herself, plus she'd sent chocolate chip cookies to Dani's house after her first assignment at the school when their regular teacher, Mrs. Gallese, had been out with gallstones. 

Dani parked her ass at the edge of Gallese's desk, one arm wrapped across her middle, and the other hand gripping the elbow. "What's up?"

Caroline smiled, shrugged, and glanced down at the floor. "This is going to sound dumb..."

"Probably," Dani agreed, teasing. "But what can you do? You always sound dumb when you don't know something and the only way you fix it, sometimes, is to ask." 

That made the girl laugh but she gave Dani an _Oh Em Gee, you are such a dork_ look, which Dani found pretty gratifying. And familiar. She hadn't seen it on Sofia in awhile, but she'd been the queen of that one. 

"Whatever. Anyway, I just... what is history?" Caroline shrugged, awkward and struggling to express herself, and Dani waited patiently, face as neutral as she could make it. "I mean, right, I know it's like, the study of the past and everything, but...it doesn't make a lot of sense. Why is it all about the Romans and the Greeks and the Christians and the monks and the Spanish? And why is it all about these big wars and generals and leaders instead of about...other stuff? Does that even make any sense?" 

"Oh yeah." Did it ever. Dani crossed her legs in front of her and tried to think how to answer that wasn't going to get her in trouble with the school or Caroline in trouble with her pretty traditional parents. "The smart thing to do would be to tell you that history's written by the victors. It's true, but it's kind of a lie. Because even if it answers why it's about a lot of white guys, it doesn't explain why it's mostly about wars and big cultural stuff. 

"I guess..." Dani shoved her braids back over her shoulders, squared them, and told the truth. Let them fire her for it. She was only a substitute anyway. "History is a story about the past. And everyone who tells it, tells it a little differently. How they tell it depends on what they want you to know about the world. School wants you to know about how the world is now, how it got that way, because they think it'll help you get a job and be a productive citizen. My grandfather, Black Eagle, when he told history, it was about how Crow turned black, or how the buffalo saved Cheyenne, or how Eagle gave us power over our enemies, and my teacher, Charles--" She swallowed softly over his name, but kept on, "Taught us about Spain in the 16th century, and about India during the height of the spice trade, and about Mir and the International Space Station..."

She laughed at herself and shook her head. "You were probably looking for something a little more quotable, huh?"

Caroline did look a little glazed, but just a little, and she shook her head, too. "No. Well, yeah. Sort of. But that's good. I mean, I get it now. It's not like math or science where two plus two is four and apples and cannonballs fall at the same speed."

Dani resisted the urge to quip the Cannonball rarely fell, he usually slammed into things, and waited for her to get to the end.

"It's made up. Like a collage, or, um, a Pinterest board."

"Bingo." A Pinterest board. The Professor would've liked that. "So, now can I ask you something?"

Caroline nodded and stood perfectly straight, books still in front of her like she'd been the whole time.

"Why'd you ask that? It's not the sort of thing kids usually think about during lunch break." 

"Um..."

This was one of those times Dani really missed her powers. If she tasted the girl's mind, if she made her dreams from smoke, what would she see? "It's okay. You can tell me anything. I promise, you're not going to get in trouble."

Looking around nervously, Caroline nodded again and walked all the way up to the desk. Her voice when she answered Dani was quiet and scared. "Because...well. School history doesn't have any, um, mutants in it. And I. ...my cousin just turned into one." 

It was all Dani could do not to cry.

* * *

The feeling stayed with her all day, the blurring ache behind her eyes and in her jaw, the nauseating twist of hope and resentment, the burning need to _do something_ when there was nothing to do. She'd given Caroline the house phone number before the bell rang, told her she could call, any time, and Dani had friends who could help. Caroline insisted she would tell her _cousin_ and when Dani tried to catch up with her at the end of classes, she'd bolted like a scared rabbit, huge eyes pleading _no, please, stay away._

It would have been easy for someone with Dani's training to catch Caroline, to take her somewhere quiet to talk, maybe even to reassure her that it would be all right. But what would she tell her? _I'm a mutant too?_ Even if she still had the X-gene and still thought of herself as a mutant, she wasn't, not really. _I used to be a mutant, and sometimes I'm a Valkyrie?_ Because _hey, little girl, welcome to the rest of your life. You' ll get used to being fate's bitch_ wasn't terrifying at all. So Dani watched her go, stomach full of acid and lead, cold fire and heavy metal, and the taste of both were in her throat.

 _What is history?_ Caroline's voice sounded over in over in her head on the way home on the BART. Dani squeezed her eyes shut and fought off the sickening waves of memory from the day it all stopped. The first night she hadn't dreamed. The dawning realization that she was one of the _poor things_ who'd been stripped of their powers, that she might never know another mind again. It all came back, crashing against the inside of her skull, how terrifyingly _alone_ she'd felt. (Still felt.) Caroline's history, now, was the story of _what happened_. The story of who Dani used to be. 

But who was she now? 

The package on her bed, accounted for by a courier's receipt with a note from Doug, with its bold A on the card, offered an easy answer, more tempting today than it had been when Alex called. Not a mutant. Not a Valkyrie. Not just a human. Not really. But she could be an Avenger. 

_Say yes_ the card read when she gave in and opened it, and the handwriting couldn't be anyone but Havok's. Straight, true lines. Confident, but not without a sense of humor in the words. 

Nausea fading and leaving the endless gray in its place, Dani sighed and pulled out her cell. _Are you on one knee?_ she texted Alex. 

The response was unexpectedly immediate, before she could unwrap the box or even put her phone away. _Would it help?_

 _Maybe,_ she sent back, a tight, wry smile on her lips. And then a few seconds later: _But only if you send pix. Then I can fwd to Lorna and she'll kick your ass._

 _See?_ He came back so fast, Dani wondered if he was bored out of his mind on monitor duty. _You fit right in. Natasha already threatened my posterior twice today._

Dani unwrapped the plain brown paper, slid her finger along the edge of the box to the find the tape, then stopped to answer him when the top lifted off to reveal a new skin-fit, black and sleek. Reed Richards' make. _I said I'd think about it._

She could almost see the nod, the 'concerned Summers' face that went with the response: _Don't think too long._

From Emma, it might have been a threat, but from Alex, it was more of a plea. Didn't matter. It sat heavy on her already queasy mind and gut anyway. She didn't answer, and either he knew her well enough or his narc - _Sam_ \- knew her well enough that he didn't text again but left her to work it through alone, if not in peace. 

Dani got as far as lifting one long black sleeve before the blur of tears and memory assailed her. She remembered, like it was yesterday, another bedroom, another uniform, another offer... she'd said yes, that day. Yes, but yes her way. She'd been so proud when she put on her mother's belt and her deerskin boots and gone down to face the Professor. Even prouder when he smiled when she'd said they weren't just (replacement) X-men, they were individuals, and he could either let her wear her uniform her way or he could keep it. 

It'd been so simple, looking at her dresser that day, to know she couldn't wear gold and navy without her turquoise. Simple to know she couldn't wear it at all when Ororo offered, years later. Simple and burning pure, the decision to hunt Legion to prove she deserved it when Sam didn't. 

_We look like grown-ups,_ Sam and Bobby had said about the new X-uniforms, the one that Dani had fought so hard to be allowed to wear. And if they'd looked like grown-ups in the blue and gold, looked like X-men, what would she look like in this new Avengers' black with the gold X as an homage and afterthought on a shoulder-patch? What would her new history be?

* * *

An hour and a half later when the front door opened and Nate called out, "Honeys, I'm home," in his annoyingly peaceful Thursday teaching-meditation-at-the-Y voice, Dani was still trying to work that question, who she'd be in that black uniform, out. Instead of answering Nate and risk inviting his shaman-to-the-(decimated)-mutant-masses input on her personal journey, Dani pushed the skin-slick off her lap and went to take a shower.

The drumming of water on tile recalled nights in the mountains and rain on the roof, nights spent alone far away from everything, before she'd seen Sofia on TV and known she had to come back. Nights before that, years before that, with Black Eagle, when he'd taught her Cheyenne ways and why she made the people afraid. She hadn't wanted to learn, but _where you start from, little spirit, is who you are,_ Black Eagle had taught her. 

_Where you start from_ , who she was, had been her mother's belt, her boots, her braids. They'd been Dani Moonstar, even when she wore Xes and went by Mirage, or Psyche, or even Spellbinder the one time. 

The steam rose, the water fell, her fingers slipped through the hot, wet curtain of her hair, combing out the snarls like she could untangle the nest of snakes in her belly. _Where you start from_ , the Professor taught her when she chose the path of life over the path of vengeance for Black Eagle's death wasn't just where you came from, the first beginning, but every beginning.

Dani's beginnings, for so long she could almost not remember any other way, her first principle, had been the Professor's dream. But he was gone, killed by his best student, and they'd taken Dani's start with them, maybe. Alex said no, that she'd be fighting for that dream still, but she couldn't help feeling like changing her uniform was changing her story, her history, her start.

Then again, watching her eyes appear in the fogged mirror while she plaited her hair, remembering Caroline's dark eyes wide with fear and liquid with shame, maybe a fresh start was what she needed. What they all needed. Alex said they needed her, because she never gave up. Maybe that was her start. Her story. 

She peered out of her bathroom at her bed for the skin-fit -- _still there_ \-- and, with a long sigh that relieved nothing, toweled off, pulled on some underwear and a bra, gritted her teeth and went to try it on. She had to. That was who she was. Dani Moonstar, no matter what, she _tries._

A single knock and a bright, "Incoming!" was all the warning she had before Amara sailed through her door, _her_ eyes glowing bright and eager. "You'll never guess what--are you doing, Dani?" Pleasure turned to consternation and confusion, almost comical in her stunning, perfectly made up face.

"Playing out the start of Bobby's longest-running fantasy it looks like. Shut the damned door, Amara!" she snapped, and managed not to fall over while hauling the slick material up over her hips.

Amara dutifully closed the door but (of course) she didn't show herself out. She never took her eyes off the uniform, while she moved toward Dani warily, watching it like a snake. "Is that what I think it is?" 

Great. Exactly what she hadn't wanted. Someone else's opinion before she formed her own. "That depends. If you think it's an engagement present from Havok, then yeah. It is."

Head tilted, Amara blinked at her. "But Lorn--oh." 

"Yeah. Oh." Half-dressed up and nowhere to go. Sigh. Dani slipped her arms into the suit and shrugged it on.

"Sam said he was going to offer," Amara said finally and sat neatly on the edge of Dani's bed. "You're going to accept?" 

Huh. She sounded surprised. Sometimes Dani forgot Amara'd known her as long as anyone. Seen her through pretty much everything. "Maybe. I don't know if black is my color."

Amara shrugged and leaned back on her hands. "It looks good on you. But everything looks good on you. You even manage to make that Valkyrie headdress look good and that thing is hideous," she said, and her tone said she wasn't talking about fashion.

"Thanks, I think." Dani gave her a little, genuinely grateful smile then gestured, _so, get on with it_ with her hand and said, "I'll never guess what--" head cocking to encourage her on.

"Oh, right." Amara sat forward again, eyes glowing. "Kitty called while you were in the shower. You'll never guess!"

"She and Ray are taking advantage of Minnesota's gay marriage law and we're all invited to attend," Dani suggested dryly.

"You should sleep with Nate," Amara said without missing a beat. "Or Sam. Someone."

"What? What does that have to do with--"

"You have marriage on the brain." Amara smirked and continued, "There's a new mutant. Here. In San Francisco!"

Dani's spluttering stopped abruptly. The break in the gloom from Amara's chatter closed up and her stomach twisted. _Caroline._ "I know," was all she said before she turned away to check out the fit of the uniform in her closet mirror.

"Her name--"

"Is Caroline Prasongsanti. She's twelve and a half years old, Thai, and she just manifested a couple of nights ago," Dani finished for her. "I _know_."

Over her shoulder in the mirror, Amara frowned. Her legs crossed, one over the other, a sure sign she'd started to get upset. "Kitty didn't say she'd talked to you."

"That's because she didn't." Sighing, Dani turned to face Amara and explain. "I know her. From school."

The frowned deepened and Amara's eyes got a dangerously fiery look to them. "When were you planning to tell the rest of us?"

"I wasn't." Dani shoved her braids back over her shoulders. "Not yet." A long breath and then Dani started over, "Listen. Amara. She's not ready. She told me her cousin manifested. When I tried to call her on it, she bolted."

"Because you tried to do it alone. Just like always. Same old Dani," Amara snapped and shoved herself upright.

"Wait. 'Mara, wait. It's not like--"

"Yes, it is, Dani." One hand came up to stop Dani from talking before she was finished. "You were going to try on that uniform by yourself and make a decision by yourself. And you were going to decide what was best for this girl by yourself, without talking to any of us." 

"Where is this coming from?" 

"Does it matter?" Amara shook her head, hard. "Never mind. Don't answer that," she said, grabbed the door, and stalked out, slamming it behind her, leaving Dani as confused as Amara had looked before.

Confused, stunned, a little betrayed. Was that how Amara saw her? How they all did? She _was_ going to tell them. After Caroline (not her cousin) had had a little time to adjust and wouldn't panic if a woman who turned into lava, a techno-organic sentient computer-being, a Valkyrie and a telekinetic who refused to button his shirt came walking up to her carrying their _congratulations, you're a mutant, here's what you can look forward to_ brochures and wearing their best _we come in peace_ smiles. 

Dani sank down to the bed, gaze fixed on the door, hands running up her own arms to ward the chill. Jeez. Maybe she really did need that fresh start.

* * *

It had probably only been ten minutes, even though it felt like hours, that Dani sat on her bed hugging her knees and staring at the door, the afterimage of Amara burned into her brain. However long it had been, the blurring ache and twisting nausea had come back with a vengeance, and the knock at her door practically shattered her skull.

She ignored it and hoped whoever it was would go away. They didn't, just knocked again, more insistently. 

"What do you want?" she demanded, but it came out mewling kitten pitiful instead of the snarl she meant it to be.

"To come in, obviously," Nate answered and didn't wait for permission to open the door this time. His gaze raked over her, taking in everything from her bare toes curled at the edge of the bed, to her damp, shiny braids and her chin on her knees, and obviously the skin-fit.

"You're in," she said dully. The last thing she wanted was a Nate-lesson on top of a lecture from one of her oldest friends. "Now go out and shut the door."

"Dani--" Nate did shut the door, but just like Amara, he didn't go out. Just like Amara, he came and sat on her bed. Since when did her bed have a welcome mat? 

"Don't you start," she warned him without shoving him or punching him. She'd have to uncurl from around her knees and she wasn't sure she wouldn't throw up.

"Start what?" Nate asked and sounded honestly perplexed. 

"Where Amara left off, telling me how stupid and selfish I am for not talking to everyone about Caro--"

"Pfft." Nate nudged her with his shoulder. "She's just upset because you and Bobby got the call up but she didn't."

...oh. 

Once upon a time, Dani would've know that, tasted it on Amara's thoughts.

"It's obvious you're just giving the girl some space, and I'm sure you gave her our number in case anything happened." Head ducking, he peered up at her and smiled, all sweet and crooked and _Summers._ "Right?"

"Yeah." Sometimes he was pretty okay. 

"Of course, it's possible you're projecting your feelings of uncertainty about where you stand and what you should do now onto her, and you're probably feeling a little--"

Dani glared at him, the _shut up before I punch you_ written all over her face. 

He cleared his throat, ignored the flash of sharp teeth behind her snarl to rub her calf. "But that's not what I came in here for."

Gaze narrowed, lips pressed tight together, she lifted an eyebrow and tried not to think about how his fingers on her calf quieted the snakes in her belly. 

"It's not. Honest."

"Well?"

"I just wanted to check out the skin-fit. Amara said it looked good on you." His fingers curled around her ankle and tugged playfully. "She's right. You look hot."

In a heartbeat, Dani uncoiled with a burst of energy and snared the pillow from behind her. The next breath, she'd smacked it across Nate's face. "Get out." And the next used it to shove him off her bed. "I said, Get. Out!"

But maybe he could come back for awhile, when she'd changed.

**Author's Note:**

> Source notes: Logan's dialogue in the first chapter taken from Uncanny Avengers #1 & New Mutants #50. 
> 
> Originally posted at FF.Net as "Stray from the Straight Line."


End file.
